EVERYTHING IS ENERGY
If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration. ~ Nikola Tesla
At a sub-atomic level, all that exists in life is composed of vibrating atoms, or pure energy. Even incorporeal things such as our thoughts, emotions, instincts and sexual drives can be said to be composed of energy. So essentially, we live in an ocean of motion, and like in the ocean – or any environment on earth for that matter – there are both predators and prey.
I don’t know about you, but 2017 so far has been a year of many changes for me – home, career, relationships, personal goals, lifestyle, and even ideals. The success of overcoming these barriers would not have been possible without the help of others.
I consider myself immensely fortunate, and grateful to have people in my life who share my passion, and give me sincere support. But there are also people who do not. This is life.
I can vividly recall recent moments when my interactions and conversations made me feel unworthy, stupid, unloved, offended, fearful, and even sick.
Let’s call these people “energy vampires” – the people who only “take” from you.
Energy vampires can be your family, friends, clients, coworkers, teachers, neighbors, lovers, or even strangers, and they come in all shapes and forms…
- There are The Blamers, who lays blame on everyone else without ever taking any responsibility. They always play the role of the victim.
- The Guilt Trippers use shame to get what they want.
- The Haters can never genuinely feel happiness for anyone else, always jealous of what you have, what you do, etc.
- Then there are the Insecure Ones, who try to pull others down to their level of low self-esteem.
- The Joy Haters seem unable to embrace joy.
- The Bullies, who stomp on the little guys to elevate their egos.
- The Debbie Downers, the Whiners, the Short-Fuses, the Gossipers, the Drama Queens, and the list goes on…
Whatever form they take, energy vampires have one thing in common: They cannot create or sustain their own life force in any positive manner. So they latch on and feed off on others, slowly sucking the life, and energy out of them.
It is no surprise that you know people like this. You probably care about them, too. Sadly, they may even mean well! They may even demonstrate their love and care for you. That makes it hard to get away from these energy-sucking relationships.
Believe me, I know. All too well.
In the past, I tolerated energy vampires. I prided myself on being able to get along with everybody, to “suck it up,” “just send them love,” and “be the bigger person.” Maybe I was even afraid to speak my mind, or didn’t want others to see me as being difficult or distant.
Perhaps I just didn’t want to alienate anyone. I didn’t want to judge.
The reality is, the entire time I was sacrificing my own precious energy and well-being.
Truth is, relationships are always an exchange of energy. People either uplift us… or they drag us down.
During the last year, it horrified, saddened and surprised me how affected I was by the energy vampires in my life. In order to continue to do my best, it became very obvious that I needed to protect my physical, emotional, and mental energy from them.
The exact same thing goes for you.
You are the guardian of your own energetic space. You can choose to live a healthy, happy, balanced, and positive life. It is absolutely vital that you surround yourself with people who promote the same way of living.
So ask yourself: Who is draining my life energy?
In clearing your personal space, there are many benefits of de-cluttering & evaluating which objects to keep and which to let go. The same goes for assessing people – the qualities of energy exchanges – in our lives.
Here are some things to consider:
- If your relationship with a person has changed, did it get better or worse?
- Can you wholeheartedly trust that person with your dreams, fears, secrets, or your heart?
- Do you feel valued, loved, balanced, and supported?
- How would you describe the quality of energy exchange? Is it an equal exchange or one-sided?
- Can you truly be yourself without fear of being judged, mocked, or ridiculed?
- If someone drains you, explore the root cause of your attachment and ask: Can the relationship dynamic shift?
- And then you’ve got a decision to make: keep the relationship going… or not?
Of course, you may not be able to “let go” of your grumpy boss, your clingy friend, or your manipulative relative. You may not want to, either.
In that case, you can learn to cope by creating “energetic boundaries.” By doing so, it can help you interact with them easier while keeping your energy intact.
Here are seven ways to deal with energy vampires:
1. Take a deep breath and let it go! There’s no need to allow their words or actions to linger and take up space in your heart and mind.
2. Recognize when their words or actions are unacceptable. Do not give them permission to suck your energy.
3. Keep things light and change the focus. Learn not to react on impulse; instead, go with the flow, and tactfully bring the situation back to neutral ground. Most of these types of people want you to react, and engage. Do not give them that power.
4. Remind yourself of the purpose of your bond or connection (e.g., why is this person in your life, how are you associated with them?), and know that you are allowed to walk away, and cut that cord.
5. Take a step back by putting their words or actions into perspective. Their behavior is a reflection on them, not you. I call this emotional integrating, or doing a self “check-in.”
6. Visualize a protective bubble of light around you, like an energy shield. This can help you remain energetically neutral without letting their words or actions cut or affect you. Visualize yourself in a white bubble of pure light.
7. Affirm your self-worth. You deserve to be surrounded by positive, genuine, and caring people who inspire you to be your very best. You can cultivate this way of being yourself. It is ultimately your choice.
Not everyone is securely connected to source energy and feeling high energy emotions like love, happiness, and joyousness. The sad truth is, there is a lot of pain. Never be afraid to say no, to cut the energetic cords and ties with these sad and hurt people who want to diminish your light. Trust yourself, and allow your light to shine bright from within.
Many blessings, love and light,